Caregiver Heart

Yes, tell the best stories about a person. It sounds simple, and it is simple. It may not feel easy to do when there are potentially many reasons to feel overwhelmed, disappointed, exhausted on this path, especially when you weren’t planning to be a caregiver.

Andy Warhol coined and played with the meaning of this phrase, “15 minutes of fame.” My meaning is this: start small, and evolve with the best stories you have about the person you care for. Start with 5 minutes a day, one great story that brings you and him or her a good belly laugh or a proud feeling about life. Then 10 minutes. Then 15 minutes of fame a day.

You can certainly decide to add more time that is spent with the best stories, as you can. But do start.

And when you record or print or post or YouTube or Facebook or whatever these stories for everyone in the group around you-Hospice chaplains, best friends from childhood, son-in-laws, grandchildren, neighbors stopping by-then everybody wins.

Assist those who assist you by giving them an ‘in’, an introduction, a ‘rolling out the red carpet’ moment for everyone, for at least 15 minutes a day. Go for more as you can. May your days be full of as many stellar moments of laughter and delight as you can pack in.

Take care, and stay in touch,

Tryn Rose Seley,

Author, 15 Minutes of Fame: One Photo Does Wonders To Bring You Both Back to Solid Ground at www.caregiverheart.com

trynrose@gmail.com

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As Facebook asks, “What’s on my mind?” What’s on my mind is that the internet is an amazing resource, and can be overwhelming.

My message here at Caregiver Heart is a simple one. Please share this one concept with everyone you know. It applies to caregivers of people with Alzheimer’s, parents of those with Autism and Muscular Dystrophy and Multiple Sclerosis and all manner of ways people show up on the planet. Please do this, for the one you care for, and for you.

Tell the best stories about them. And make those stories available for any who join the circle of care and love. Available through the computer, through albums with labels on the coffee table, through song lyrics on the piano bench, through a container of fresh herbs on the kitchen windowsill, through the ones that make you laugh or stand up taller with pride on the refrigerator..

This strategy alone has served me for many years as a caregiver. It puts me in a good place because I’m talking about the best times, I’m regarding my family member or friend from an honoring and respectful place, and it gives us both something great to talk about.

In the bathroom, in the car, in the doctor’s office-have those stories available to you, and to him or her.

You might be pleasantly surprised at the flow of energy you get as a caregiver when you’re bringing the best stuff to the table, literally and figuratively.

Give it a go. Then let me know how it goes. I’d love to hear it.

Take care, and stay in touch,

Tryn Rose Seley,

Author, 15 Minutes of Fame: One Photo Does Wonders To Bring You Both Back to Solid Ground at www.caregiverheart.com

trynrose@gmail.com

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YouTube – Dr. Norman Rosenthal speaking at news conference in NYC on veterans fighting PTSD.

Dr. Rosenthal was the first to describe Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), the effect of light on mood. He says, as some of us know all too well, that medication and therapy approaches are far from perfect, but that Transcendental Meditation, this “powerful, simple, profound” way toward wellness is very exciting.

“In moments of madness, meditation has helped me find moments of serenity.”

Sir Paul McCartney

Finding effective, self-directed ways to improve one’s daily life for ourselves as caregivers and for those we care for are essential,”especially in this era of diminishing resources.”

My way of approaching the world is to see the connections between Alzheimer’s and related dementias, and everyone else. This YouTube reminds me that we can find some measure of peace for today, whatever our journey may be: Alzheimer’s, autism, PTSD, transitions of life. I hope you find some peace for yourself today.

Take care, and stay in touch,

Tryn Rose Seley,

Author, 15 Minutes of Fame: One Photo Does Wonders To Bring You Both Back to Solid Ground at www.caregiverheart.com

trynrose@gmail.com

Purchase PDF version of 15 Minutes of Fame

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Don’t Shut Down with Alzheimer’s Patients!

Michelle has written a beautiful piece on ‘ways to be’ with a person with Alzheimer’s or a related dementia. Read and heed, and remember that it’s a person in there, a person you know and love. Every day, you can bring and share memories of good experiences that bring you happiness, which will heighten the joy factor overall. If you don’t see or recognize that the person with dementia is happier, at least you brought your own joy (BYOJ), and can raise your appreciation for the person who is, in fact, doing their best to get through every day. Give him or her some mile markers, some guideposts, some great stories of their lives, the ones that make you laugh together, or feel awe for this person in front of you.

Take care, and stay in touch,

Tryn Rose Seley,

Author, 15 Minutes of Fame: One Photo Does Wonders To Bring You Both Back to Solid Ground at www.caregiverheart.com

trynrose@gmail.com

Purchase PDF version of 15 Minutes of Fame

For those of you who prefer Amazon Kindle versions, Click Here.

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John Zeisel, Ph.D.: An Alzheimer’s Diagnosis Isn’t the End.

Yes, yes, yes.

Take care, and stay in touch,

Tryn Rose Seley,

Author, 15 Minutes of Fame: One Photo Does Wonders To Bring You Both Back to Solid Ground at www.caregiverheart.com

trynrose@gmail.com

Purchase PDF version of 15 Minutes of Fame

For those of you who prefer Amazon Kindle versions, Click Here.

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The first live-in community I worked for was in Colorado. The director said in one of her many enriching trainings, “If you can answer the same question 18 times, and on the 19th time, get a little weary, this is the work for you.” Yes, I said, I can do that!

What this can mean is:

1) Caregivers are good at answering the same question for a person often, with patience and compassion.

2) Caregivers are creative at coming up with true, different answers every time they answer a question. (It’s 5pm/It’s almost time for supper. I’m going there right now, would you like to walk with me?/It’s evening now, are you ready for a good meal?/My mom always called out the door, “Supper-supper-suppertime!” from Snoopy’s song in the ‘Charlie Brown’ musical. How did you know supper was ready when you were young?/etc)

3) Caregivers know that a person who is asking the same question is trying to find his or her way in the world, and for some reason has produced ‘this’ question. It could be that the person wants to know: where they are, if they’re meant to be making supper, or where to go so they’re on time for the meal. Caregivers can lend a hand, build a bridge, invite a person along a path that leads to success, no matter the question. With the world that is becoming increasingly challenging to navigate, as Robert Fulghum once said, “..when you go out into the world it is best to hold hands and stick together.” *

The ‘question’ may change, develop, fade, be replaced by another, or a person may stop asking questions. At whatever stage a caregiver is experiencing the question, a good beginning is, “Let’s go together; we’ll find the answer.”

*”All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” by Robert Fulghum

Take care, and stay in touch,

Tryn Rose Seley,

Author, 15 Minutes of Fame: One Photo Does Wonders To Bring You Both Back to Solid Ground at www.caregiverheart.com

trynrose@gmail.com

Purchase PDF version of 15 Minutes of Fame

For those of you who prefer Amazon Kindle versions, Click Here.

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My mind is filled with stories about life. My heart is most strongly affected by the stories of those I love, and what I love.

My work is in the care of others: preschool age children, those with special needs, those learning a musical instrument, those starting a garden, those who have dementia, those who want to join a choir at church. These are the aspects that make up my life. I love to sing, and to create art, but what I love more is to invite others into these experiences, to poise people for success that might otherwise think they can’t sing, or create art. Of course, they can. I make a home for this to happen, with enthusiasm and organization that allows people to join me, to participate, to thrive.

Your mind is full of many stories that make up your life. Your heart is most affected by those you love, and what you love. As a caregiver of someone with Alzheimer’s, you can draw on those stories for fun and profit! Telling the stories that bring laughter and poignancy for you will bring your good feelings to the table, and you may see that it brings laughter and poignant memories for your family member or friend. Even if you can’t see a response, you’ve had your own. Bringing life to the caregiver’s heart brings life to everyone.

Take care, and stay in touch,

Tryn Rose Seley,

Author, 15 Minutes of Fame: One Photo Does Wonders To Bring You Both Back to Solid Ground at www.caregiverheart.com

trynrose@gmail.com

Purchase PDF version of 15 Minutes of Fame

For those of you who prefer Amazon Kindle versions, Click Here.

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Those with Alzheimer’s are trying to live a meaningful life, just like the rest of us. In my caregiving experiences thus far, I have learned to bring life to a person who is reaching for it, and seen it improve everyone’s day.

There will come a time when that person will be done reaching, and will be finishing. Often, this line is challenging to determine and delicate to walk. But asking the question, “How can I bring the best stories about him or her every day, in one form or another?” has been valuable for me as a caregiver, a musician, and a fellow human.

“Alone, we can do so little; together, we can do so much.” -Helen Keller

Take care, and stay in touch,

Tryn Rose Seley,

Author, 15 Minutes of Fame: One Photo Does Wonders To Bring You Both Back to Solid Ground at www.caregiverheart.com

trynrose@gmail.com

Purchase PDF version of 15 Minutes of Fame

For those of you who prefer Amazon Kindle versions, Click Here.

For those of you who prefer Nook versions, Click Here.

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Welcome to this home.

It’s a place to take a deep breath, find resources and hope, and have company on the journey with Alzheimer’s.

Please settle in this chair, put your feet up, wrap an afghan blanket around you like your grandmother made, have a virtual cup of tea, read awhile…and have hope.

I am nearby, getting another cup of tea, or available for chatting in between passages. When you go to your own home, take my book with you, and know that I always welcome another visit, any time.

Take care, and stay in touch,

Tryn Rose Seley,

Author, 15 Minutes of Fame: One Photo Does Wonders To Bring You Both Back to Solid Ground at www.caregiverheart.com

trynrose@gmail.com

Purchase PDF version of 15 Minutes of Fame

For those of you who prefer Amazon Kindle versions, Click Here.

For those of you who prefer Nook versions, Click Here.

Request printed copies at trynrose@gmail.com